The Hyphen House

I had three big fears about birth:
1) A long labour
2) Driving to a hospital with contractions
3) Intervention

I faced all three before I even got to established labour. And they were all hard, but not as bad as I feared.

We arrived at the hospital around 9:30 am and got assigned to the Daisy room. I was sobbing when the midwife came in and she shared that her own birth hadn't gone according to plan but it didn't matter now that her son is here. She was very kind. She proceeded to prepare for the induction by doing a vaginal exam and actually told me that I was nearly 4 centimeters (finally!). She said she would ask the OB if I could just proceed as a normal patient if that's what I wanted. The doctor agreed and I cried from relief. No induction drugs! I resolved to deal with the pain of my existing contractions and pursue the birth I hoped for. The hospital only has one room with a birth pool and it happened to be free. It was also the only room that allowed more than two birth partners, so my mom, husband, and doula all got to stay. The midwife told me I could do it. My spirits were lifted.

The next few hours passed in a haze. I stayed active through the contractions, still exhausted, took some paracetamol, tried gas and air, attempted to snack. It was very hot that day and we were in a room with windows that didn't open and just fans.

When I got in the pool around 3, it was heaven. The water was a magical pain reliever and it finally allowed me to get some rest. I went into "labour land" and completely zoned out. I used my affirmations and natal hypnotherapy. When the contractions got too intense I would say "help me" and my husband or Mom would squeeze my hand and tell me a travel memory. Each time was some place different and the imagery and pleasant memories helped me through it. I even smiled and laughed through some contractions. One of the midwives said she'd never seem someone so calm.

I figured things were still going to take forever so I sent my husband to get dinner for himself and my mom. As soon as he got back, the midwife did a check at 6:15. She told me to feel below because my baby was coming! Everyone was so excited. The midwife told me to listen to my body and I would birth my own baby. I breathed and pushed and released for about 45 minutes. Then the midwife told me to kneel back and catch the baby. Bringing her to my chest was one of the greatest moments of my entire existence.

My husband came alongside and we stared at her and cried. The baby and I stayed in the pool until my husband cut the chord, about 30 minutes. I couldn't believe how she recognized our voices and responded to us. It was all so exhilarating.

So it wasn't the home birth I'd planned, but it was the peaceful water birth we'd hoped for. I feel really blessed that it turned out the way it did.

Writing our birth story seems like a rather impossible task, as the experience was so profound that putting it into words seems so banal. But in the words of Anne Morrow Lindbergh, "I must write it all out, at any cost. Writing is... more than living, for it is being conscious of living." I want to be conscious of this life that God created, that DH and I made together, and that I birthed into the world.

We prepared for this birth with as much sincerity as possible. We hired a doula, read books, did a workshop, exercised, ate (sort of) right, got lots of support, etc. I am so glad we did ALL of it. I will have to do more posts about all we learned about natural/gentle birth because the education process really positively affected the outcome for us.

In the weeks before my "guess date" I actually felt pretty relaxed. I was fortunate not to be too big and uncomfortable, actually got decent sleep, and generally savoured my time with DH, knowing that it was the last time it would be just the two of us in that way. I repeated the affirmation "babies are born when THEY are ready" and reminded myself that due dates are really just a guess. I also firmly believed that the baby would wait until my mom arrived.

My mom arrived on Thursday, 18 July and my waters broke that night at 1:00 am. At least I thought it was my water - I didn't know enough about hindwater to be able to tell at the time. I opted not to phone the midwives as I wasn't having contractions. We went about life as normal Friday and Saturday, taking walks and trying to rest. I was starting to get frustrated that nothing happened when finally at 5:30 pm Saturday I had what we determined to be regular contractions, about 15 minutes apart. At 8:00 pm I had a big gush of water and at that point phoned the midwives.

The midwife on call came over to check me and said all looked well. She was so confident I would progress quickly that she said we'd probably see her again in the morning. She was nice but rather loud and didn't exactly fit my peaceful birth plan. Eric set up the birth pool and I took a shower, put on the TENS machine, and slept until the contractions were too uncomfortable.

They'd slowed down a bit so I tried to get them going again by bouncing on the pregnancy ball and other various measures. Mom and I watched a few movies on Netflix and the sun came up. Contractions weren't much closer together. My doula said things probably wouldn't get going until the sun went down again - which was unfortunate as in the summer it's after 10 pm. I don't remember much about Sunday, except going for walks down the alley and back, and generally being extremely bored and stir crazy but feeling trapped.

By the evening, contractions were quite intense but not close enough together. Staying active, singing, and Natal Hypnotherapy helped me through the contractions. We called our doula to come over that evening for support, and the midwife came late in the night to check me. I was only 2 cm, after all that! The only time I got any rest was trying to sleep between contractions, propped up on my side on the couch, listening to the Natal Hypnotherapy CD, and squeezing my mom's hand when the contractions woke me up.

The midwife came back at 7:30 am Monday morning to check me again, and I had not progressed at all, despite a sleepless night of intense and regular contractions. In Britain, the hospitals have a policy that 36 hours after your waters go, you have to be induced b/c of risk of infection. I really thought I would avoid that, but I couldn't put it off anymore. So Monday morning we got in the car and set for the hospital. I was completely devastated, asking for an epidural, and hoping for a c-section as I had not slept but about 4 hours over 2 days.