The Hyphen House

The holiday movies I just LOVE come in at a three way tie: Christmas in Connecticut, White Christmas, and A Christmas Story

Christmas in Connecticut

I love this for so many reasons. Elizabeth Lane writes a column for smart house-keeping as the perfect cook, wife and mother on a Connecticut farm. The trouble is she's a complete phony - she's single, lives in a tiny apartment in NYC, and can't cook to save her life. When her editor invites himself and a war hero to spend Christmas at her farm, she's scrambles to fool him. Barbara Stanwick wins in this role, she's so awesome. Apart from being tremendously entertaining, it's great social commentary on the fragility of 1940s gender expectations, and an example of how women got around them.


Fav. Quote 
Elizabeth: "I'm tired of dancing to someone else's tune, tired of being told whom to marry! In short, I'm tired."

White Christmas

Another favorite since my childhood, thanks in large part to the Haynes Sisters. My sister and I had the song and most of the routine memorized! You can't top Bing Crosby and I love all the dancing.

Fav. Quote
Phil: "In some ways, you're far superior to my cocker spaniel."


A Christmas Story

I know it's a cliche, but it's still hilarious to me. The board game Mall Madness was my Red Rider bebe gun and I looked like Ralphie's brother when I tried to brave the Wyoming winters outside. Makes me laugh as much as the first watch.

Fav. Quote
Narrator: "Let's face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances."

Last night, we saw the new Nick Hornby movie An Education, starring newcomer Carey Mulligan, Peter Sarsgaard, Alfred Molina, Rosamund Pike, and Emma Thompson. It is a departure from Hornby's other screenplays, like About a Boy and High Fidelity because this films focuses on a young woman coming of age too quickly rather than men experiencing delayed adolescence. First off, I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed the film. The acting was superb across the board. Probably my favorite performance was Rosamund Pike who plays the "dumb blonde" with such subtle complexity.

The movie takes place in suburban London during the early 6os and follows 16-year-old Jenny (Mulligan) as she tries to finish high school (at an all-girls college prep school of course) and earn her acceptance into Oxford to study English. Her plans are derailed when she meets and falls in love with David (Sarsgaard), a charming 35-year-old man, whose sophistication, wealth, and status allure Jenny much more than her fruitless Latin studies. David introduces Jenny to hip jazz clubs, fancy cigarette brands, art auctions, and even Paris. She feels free from the expectations and limitations of her parents, her school, and her pre-women's-lib culture. As her education in the "school of life" begins to overshadow her traditional education, Jenny begins to become increasingly lost in the adult world, disdaining the childhood world of her peers and family. I won't give away anything else, but the themes are certainly very interesting to me given my own egalitarian leanings and my current job teaching 16-year-olds at a college prep school.

At one point in the movie, the school's headmistress (Thompson) basically tells Jenny that even though school is boring, she needs to get an education. Jenny responds by questioning why. Why should she be bored now just to get an education that will only allow her to become a teacher or service worker, boring jobs to her. Is she just supposed to be bored forever? This moment in the movie really struck me profoundly. As someone who teaches girls that are often bored with school, it seems a legitimate question. What is the point? Unfortunately because the headmistress has not really experienced life outside of her "bored" existence, she cannot really come up with a satisfying answer for Jenny. It isn't until Jenny sees that perhaps she has misjudged her English teacher (who she believes is living a "dead" life), that she comes to understand the value of an education.

In some ways, the movie's conclusion is too simple. We learn that the best things in life do not come easily or quickly without serious compromises, that we should be satisfied that we can have what we want if we work hard and have patience. But I am left wondering how an adult can really adequately communicate that to a 16-year-old girl who feels devalued, bored, and inspired only by glamour and young love. Jenny reminds me of so many of my own students, whose situations are certainly better now in the new millenium than the early 60s, but who also struggle to see the relevance of Jane Eyre to their lives (a book Jenny and my students both study). They are often bored and only find enjoyment in their boyfriends, in popular culture, and in the romantic worlds in their dreams. Why would they believe me when I tell them that an education is the only way they can get what they want in life? There is still a glass ceiling, still people who think a woman is at her best when taken care of by a man, still people who live exciting lives by compromising their moral values and taking the easy way. These forces still assault the value of an education in the eyes of a naive 16-year-old girl, especially the smart ones like Jenny.

If there is something about the movie that disturbs me, it is the fact that Jenny doesn't realize this until she has made many mistakes she regrets. I suppose the "school of life" really does teach us the most profound lessons, but as a teacher, I hope that I can prevent my students from making bad choices. In that sense, I become too similar to Jenny's overbearing father (Molina) who worries only about her future and has no sense of who she is in the present, nor her dreams and desires. Perhaps my students must make mistakes in order to see the value of a life well lived, the value of a strong education, and the value of their childhood innocence too.

Anyway, I highly recommend An Education, especially for high school teachers like myself. It has given me much to consider. I hope that if a student asks me, "What's the point? Am I just supposed to be bored for the rest of my life?" that I can answer her more honestly and effectively than Jenny's advisors.

Lauran and I went to see (500) Days of Summer a few nights ago. I will try not to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but I must say that I found it to be very entertaining and revealing. It gave me a lot to think about because I could relate to so much of it. It felt very real.

The male character, Tom, is overly idealistic. I say he suffers from "Prufrock syndrome," something I to tend to suffer from. I get the name from T.S. Eliot's poem (the most amazing poem in the English language by the way). The poem is essentially about a man who experiences life from a distance, who is so trapped in his ideals, that he is paralyzed. I tend to fall victim to my own overblown idealism, romanticism, and optimism, so I can relate a little too much to this character. In fact, it was on rereading this poem for the umpteenth time that I decided finally to ask Lauran out because I didn't want to "grow old" and "wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled." Tom has some of the same problems. He is an architect who works at a greeting card company because this job conveniently allows him to protect himself from the possible disappointment of not being able to succeed at his dream. It allows him to live in the trite world of get-well-soons and i-love-yous and happy-birthdays rather than face the possibility that reality might not coincide with his ideals.

Tom meets Summer and falls for her instantly. Summer, however, wants to keep things casual. She is skeptical about love and guarded about her feelings. Tom only thinks he is guarded about his feelings. He only sees roses and singing birds. I can relate all too well to this way of seeing the world. I am an incurable optimist and romantic. I don't apologize for it or even think it is a bad way of going about life. I like being an optimist and romantic, but it does have its pitfalls. I have a tendency to avoid conflict. I sometimes am oblivious to people's pain and anger. I withdraw from those who don't affirm my ideals.

Fortunately, Tom is not a static character. I won't give away the ending, but it was refreshing to see how he and Summer grew. Real growth is not something you see in most romantic comedies (and I admit that I tend to like romantic comedies and am glad to be married so that I can have an excuse to watch them without breaking any guy codes). Fortunately, I have also grown (with my fair share of regressing and relapsing of course). The beginning stages of Tom and Summer's relationship reminded me in many ways of the beginning of my relationship with Lauran. I fell much quicker than she did. I avoided conflict and was often confused when she showed hurt or anger. I idealized her.

One day reality set in, and I was like Prufrock swimming with the mermaids when "human voices wake us and we drown." Our first real conflict made me feel as though my world was crashing down around me, but it wasn't. Rather, the reality of our love (with all its imperfections) crashed through my illusions. I think the reason this movie has resonated with so many in my generation is that many of us tend to be either Summer or Tom, either disillusioned cynics, or hopeless romantics. Sadly, both of these things lead us to a love paralysis (a la Prufrock). Love is not some perfect ideal, nor is it some sugary delusion. Yet we often think it is. We rush in like idiots, get hurt, and then build up our defenses. Our illusions get shattered, so we abandon all our ideals and hopes.

I thank God for Lauran and for the opportunity to know real love, not pop song love, not fairy tale love, not romatic comedy love. As we watched the movie together, I laughed some (ok I laughed a lot, you know I never laugh just a little), and I winced a little as I watched this couple navigate the treacherous waters of love armed only with romanticism and skepticism, our 21st century weapons that are really so useless in the face of love's storms. Afterwards, I had a greater appreciation for the journey love has taken us on and for the way we have both grown. There is still hope for us romantics and for you skeptics.

Yes, I still like cartoon movies on occasion. I never miss a Pixar flick and Dreamworks usually aren't bad. Eric got a surprise day off work due to some crazy flash floods in Houston, so I took a half day and we went to the movies. Monsters v. Aliens offers a female alt-hero that we got excited about, teaching kids (ok, and adults) about the importance of individual destiny.

The movie begins on Susan's wedding day, as she converses with her groom before the ceremony about his news career. She seems happy to be subsumed into his job and pretends not to care he's canceled their honeymoon for a job interview. Enter giant meteor that turns her into a giant monster and lands her in a maximum security government Area 51. When an alien robot threatens San Francisco, the feds agree to let the monsters out, and they save the city. Susan gets to see Derek, her fiance, who tells her he can't live in her shadow and finds her new success and fame quite annoying. After everyone falls in love with her, mostly because she saves the earth, Derek tries to win her back, hoping an interview with her will land him a job in NY. She tells him to take a hike, revels in her new found gifts, and embraces her destiny with new friends.

I'm glad to see these heroines have grown a little depth. I remember some pseudo-feminist characters in Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast or Little Mermaid, but when you get right down to it they are all just doing whatever they can to get a man (or doing great things until they get a man). Even Mulan has to pretend to be a man to get anywhere in life, and the movie ends with her suitor staying for dinner (FYI the original Chinese story ends with her getting married and staying home). The underlying message is always no matter how extraordinary or independent you are, you need a man.

You all know I'm pro at-home moms, but I have an issue with the way most people talk about them. It's as if being a full-time mom is merely a support role to the husband. I believe moms who choose this life are fulfilling an individual calling and participating in the shared destiny of parenting. I guess that's really a separate rant, but suffice it to say little ones need some heroes that stick up for themselves and break societal norms when they are oppressive. The damsel in distress model doesn't help anyone, including and perhaps especially men. So, good for Reese Witherspoon for lending her vocal talents to Susan, the unlikely feminist super-monster.