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Breastfeeding

I'm writing this post as part of the Breastfeeding Blog Carnival hosted by The Leaky B@@b. It's World Breastfeeding Week and the carnival theme is "Perspectives: Breastfeeding from Every Angle." So as a feminist with no plans for children in the near future, here's my perspective.

"How many of you are uncomfortable around a woman breastfeeding in public?" I asked my Intro. to Women's Studies class. Over half raised their hands.

"How many of you are uncomfortable around a woman in a bikini?" Only a few hands.

"Well, get over yourselves and let the woman feed her child," I told them, in my signature professorial tone.

The thing is, so long as women are in a situation where they can be sexualized, and they meet certain cultural expectations of beauty (i.e. they are skinny enough to look "good" in a bikini... which is ridiculous in my book, b/c I'm a size 12 and think I look great in a swimsuit, but I digress), we can accept it. Expose cleavage in a plunging neckline and it's great b/c people have the opportunity to ogle. But expose a little breast during nursing and people get grossed out, uncomfortable, or just plain weird.

Historically speaking, women have, of course, always breastfed. In the U.S. in the mid-1900s with the rise of child psychologists and baby boomer moms being encouraged to stay in the domestic sphere, formula was the only way to go. This was the age when women were told how to be mothers by male psychologists and taught to use technology for all their domestic duties by men. Breastfeeding was considered unhealthy and would cause psychological problems for the baby. By the time I was born in 1980 "breast is best" became popular again and women were fighting to explain to their mothers why they wanted to nurse, not feed their newborn with a bottle as they had been as infants. In other words, it's a cyclical debate.

The "Mommy Wars" that pit stay-at-home moms against professional moms extends to breastfeeding as well. People are pretty judgmental about those who don't do what they do/would do in general and nursing is no exception. I always want to say, "do you know that woman's story?" There's probably a good reason why she made the decision she did about it, so lay off.

I do feel that encouraging women to go into hiding to nurse, or to unreasonably cover-up is a way to push women into isolation. If a mother is most comfortable that way and/or enjoys the time alone with her baby, then ok. But pushing her to stay home or giving her looks that make her retreat to a back bedroom is uncalled for. She's more than a milk machine, she's a person with a full life who is most likely struggling to integrate herself and her baby into the world. So cheers to those who don't let themselves be pushed back.

I was fortunate to work in an office that encouraged work/life balance and extolled motherhood so I've seen firsthand how breastfeeding can work for professional women. I got used to breast pumps lying around the office and not being weird about knowing where to look when I talked to a colleague who was pumping. We also offered our office as a lactation room, so women on campus could come by and have some privacy and a sympathetic space to pump.

All that said, I confess I tire of women who act as though breastfeeding is the most important act on the planet. Just b/c I don't have a baby to feed at my breast doesn't make my life insignificant. I am most comfortable around women who proceed with it as though it's a natural, normal thing.

People much smarter than me have written on this topic from a feminist perspective. Here's just a few:

* An article at ProMoM, Inc. that argues "breastfeeding empowers women and contributes to gender equality." Hear, hear!
* "Judy Hopkinson: Passion to end world hunger becomes commitment to breastfeeding moms, infants"
* The National Organization of Women's "Open Letter to the Department of Health and Human Services Secretary"

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Bullhead City/Laughlin

Eric's grandparents picked us up Saturday morning and we made the 1.5 hour trek through the desert to Bullhead City, AZ. Bullhead City feels like Midland with a casino. It greeted us with 118 degree temps! Since Eric's uncle is the host at one of the casinos, we had the opportunity for free stuff. We ate with Grandma in the restaurant and then saw Toy Story 3D.

Sunday we accompanied each grandparent on their favorite activity. For Grandpa, that's eating breakfast at Black Bear. He's a quiet man but spoke up then, telling us stories about his days in the air force and playing minor league baseball. Grandma had told us the night before about growing up in a toy shop, which has to be the most magical childhood.

Photo Credit: My Photo Blog

Bingo deserves its own post, but in case we don't get around to that, here are the highlights. My nearest encounter was previously auto bingo played as a child on long road trips. Bingo in a Laughlin casino is no joke. First you purchase a dobber (ink), then go to a window like in the movies to buy your cards and maybe a cash ball. Seating choice is key - that is if the 200 or so aren't already filled. Then it's full speed ahead, with crazy kites and 3 stamps and cover alls that totally stressed me out. Grandma is a pro - she does 18 cards at once. People curse when they don't win and cast disparaging looks your way if you talk. Eric's uncle has incredible stories of people yelling at him, complaining about the most minor details, and on occasion threatening violence. For bingo. After the 1:00 session we refueled with some food from the snack bar then had to get back upstairs to get there early for the 3:00 session (even though we had already saved our seats). Like I said, this is no joke.

Monday the grandparents took us to Oatman, a mining ghost town on the old Route 66. The main attraction now is the wild (very tame) burros that roam the street. It's mainly a short stretch of shops and a few places to eat. The Oatman Hotel (where Clark Gable allegedly stayed for part of his honeymoon) is now a bar. We were there in time for the gunfight - a silly but entertaining little show by two men in western outfits. Upon leaving, one of the burros stuck its head in the car hoping for a carrot. Sorry burro. Grandpa made his famous chicken fried steak that night and two of Eric's uncles and their families came over.

Oatman

I never would have guessed that marrying my husband would take me to Laughlin, Nevada. I guess you really never know where life will take you.

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Las Vegas

Since I'm behind on the travel posts I'm going to make them shorter and more boring. Which means you don't have to read them. If you don't want to.

I have determined that Vegas is like an amusement park for grown-ups. I had a lot of fun there, but I got over the Strip pretty quickly - the crowds, the heat, the excess, the distribution of explicit material, etc. All in all we had a great time, especially since it was the celebration of our second anniversary. And, I am a firm believer in never booking anything until you've truly shopped around for a deal... Such was the case in Vegas, of course, which landed us 3 nights and 2 show tickets at the Mirage for a savings of a few hundred dollars.

The day we arrived we went straight to the pool at the Mirage, which is like a giant oasis (and great for people watching). For dinner we went to a Brazilian steakhouse, something we've always wanted to do. I thought the "parade of meats" was tasty.


Thursday we decided to walk most of the strip - from the Mirage all the way to MGM. We had several BOGO coupons so we spent the day walking in and out of casinos and snacking on pretzels, ice cream, etc. We won no money in the Venetian casino, marveled at the Bellagio ceiling and conservatory (in an incredible spring them with giant insects and plants), posed in front of the Paris hotel's Eiffel tower, counted colors in the M&Ms store, visited the white tigers in the MGM, and admired the NYC skyline facade of New York New York. Thankfully there's a tram that took us back close to the Mirage, b/c we had walked a long way. Then it was back to the pool.

For dinner we ate at Japonais in the hotel, for delicious sushi and lobster spring rolls (prefixe lounge menus save lots of money!). The extravagance of Vegas was present in our meal, as I had an actual orchid flower in my martini and gold flecks on our chocolate cake. Ridiculous but kind of awesome.

And the Beatles LOVE Cirque de Soleil was so fantastic. It's hard to describe how great it was, b/c it was sensory overload in the best possible way. For example, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" had a trapeze artist swinging around beneath diamond shaped lights. So creative.

Friday we took it easy, spending time at the pool and relaxing a lot. We spent the last of our gambling budget (a combined total of $40) at the Mirage slots. An older gentleman who was pretty bored put in $10 so we would stay and talk to him. We also visited the Secret Garden at the hotel where they have dolphin, white tiger, and white lion habitats. Throughout the trip we prided ourselves on being fairly frugal and not getting led astray by the schemes of Vegas to get our money. However, we got duped by the happy hour that told us appetizers were half price. We thought that meant half price off the listed price, but no. So we spent $10 for 3 lobster tacos and so on. Yikes. We ended the night with the Bellagio fountains and the Mirage volcano.

And that was Vegas, baby.

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Pinetop

I have family in Phoenix who, after 13 years, grew tired of the heat and purchased a weekend cabin in the mountatins of Pinetop, AZ. Being partial to the particular beauty of the saguaro desert, I quite enjoyed the four hour drive up there. The cabin is an A-frame with 2 bedrooms plus a loft (where E and I slept), a front porch, a picnic table, and most importantly, hammocks. The air was breezy and clear, perfect for the holiday weekend.

Friday after the drive we headed to Movie Gallery, a rental place going out of business and thus selling off its DVDs. In typical style, we spent forever combing through to see if any of the $4 movies were worth purchasing. I got tired and sat down. Now I know how my boy cousin felt as a kid, shopping for endless hours with the lot of us girls. There's a little store called Eddie's that sells smoked meats that are TDF. We picked up some pork chops to grill and I made stuffed mushrooms.

Saturday after bacon from Eddie's we went to an arts and crafts fair, where local artists sell their creations. E's favorite part was the food booths that had tastings available. I bought some coffee mint handmade soap and a leaf pendant. The real cottonwood leaf was soaked in brine then fired with a small torch to color it deep copper and red and purple. I love it. We dropped off E (who thought the hammock and a book was the best idea) and went to another (smaller) art fair. That evening we played Skip-bo and watched a movie, enjoying the peaceful setting.


Sunday was our lazy day... We stayed in our pajamas and traded off in the hammocks. Oh, and I lost several games of horseshoes. I got a ringer though - on a nearby tree. If I have to throw things or catch things it often ends in disaster. That was the Fourth, so in the evening we took a picnic to the Apache reservation (the bordering land is all Apache owned) to watch a fireworks show. It was a bit odd, celebrating "American independence" on land that reminded me so compellingly of how tragically Native Americans have fared throughout our history. Not sure how to feel about all that still. But the fireworks were nice and it was cold - like, my toes froze cold.

Monday I convinced my familia to get some sort of exercise. I said "hike" and they said "nope" so we settled for a nice walk around the nature center. Walks outside in nice weather and nature are quite possibly my favorite thing.

So that was Pinetop. A lot of pleasantness all around.

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Portland - Thursday

It's important when your flight leaves in the middle of the day not to let the whole day be full of packing and doing nothing, I think. So I packed the night before I left OR (mostly) so as to enjoy the day.

We took the Portland Aerial tram, a quick $4 round trip up to OHSU and back down the mountain. It's a great view of downtown and the river. It's also supposed to be a good view of Mt. Hood and other surrounding mountains on a clear day. This was not a clear day. I don't think Portland has a ton of clear days so finding the right one might be tricky.

A was in critical need of a latte so we stopped in at World Cup (appropriately named at this time). I'm still not a coffee drinker but I tried a sip of hers and it was alright. I got chai. It's funny how baristas at independent coffee shops everywhere kind of look and act the same. I should do an anthropological study on this.

We employed the use of Verizon GPS to get us to the Pittock Mansion and it was a serious fail with a serendipitous twist. You know that episode of The Office where Michael follows the GPS instructions and ends up in a lake? Ours wasn't that bad, but it did take us on a seriously roundabout way up a road to nowhere. The fortuitous part of the story is that A has always wanted to drive through this neighborhood but didn't know how to get back there. Enter misguided GPS. Houses built on hills always amaze me so I loved the drive too.

As usual, my imagination went crazy inside the mansion. I imagined myself living there in the late 1800s, having made my fortune in the newspaper business. I have always, always loved visiting old homes (which may be part of why I lived in one the last 2 years). The grounds were beautiful too, of course. Since Lady Pittock is credited with starting the Portland Rose Festival, the gardens were appropriately adorned with the city's beloved flower.

So I dragged my bags to the MAX and headed to the airport. I hopped a plane to Phoenix, where I met Eric in the terminal. I sat next to a guy on the plane who was flying in to propose to his girlfriend. He was nervous. Also, I went from 60 degree weather to 110 degree weather (I landed at 8:30 pm). Good thing we headed to the mountains the next day.

Photo Credit: Oregon Live

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Portland - Wednesday

One of my favorite things to do in new cities (and often in my own) is to walk and wander. On gorgeous days it’s hard not to be outside. We took a stroll down 23rd Avenue, a trendy district with tons of shops and restaurants. You get such a flavor of each neighborhood just walking through.

We took the MAX to downtown, stepping off into the beautiful Farmer’s Market. I think farmer’s markets are so beautiful, so much color. Determined to visit the “lunch carts”, we meandered in a low blood sugar stupor toward Alder St.  This square probably has a name, but everyone seems to refer to it as simply the lunch carts. It’s a virtual smorgasbord of international food, one truck next to the other. Abby’s favorite is Zena’s Bosnian food. We sampled Bosnian pitas (somewhere between spanikopita and pot pie) and meatballs with yogurt and red sauce. Once again, delicious.


Photo Credit: Food Carts Portland

Everyone in Portland seems to give directions by blocks – “Go four blocks down then three to the right.” These directions are sometimes helpful but often easily misinterpreted. That’s what happened to us and we ended up on somewhat of a wild goose chase in search of the Chinese Gardens. But we did find them, and they are gorgeous. A small party rehearsed a wedding ceremony in the gazebo. The ring bearer informed us that in an effort not to drop the precious rings into the pond, she intended to construct a floatie  pillow with a waterproof box.

We had the loveliest tea party – the stuff some little girl dreams are made of. I chose Tea Flowers and Abby had Eight Treasures. They came in tiny pots with the tea floating loosely. We also had almond cookies and coconut macaroons, all while sitting in tiny stools at a tiny table, surrounded by such beauty. The highlight of the gardens for me was a 100 year old bonsai tree. It was completely aged and matured but no more than 2 feet tall. Crazy.

Photo Credit: Lan Su Chinese Garden

For dinner we made omelets and sweet potato fries. Abby and I don’t have the best track record for cooking (perhaps our most famous mishap was substituting water for oil in a cake mix for Carrie’s surprise 17th birthday party). But we have done our best to learn and with a few blunders, we made an excellent meal. We crawled out her window onto the fire escape where we talked and ate and laughed and watch the sun go down over the Portland skyline and Mt. Hood. That’s something I’ll never forget.

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Portland - Tuesday

Tuesday shall be known as the Day of Awesomeness, because it was basically the perfect day. (Only thing missing was Carrie, our other bff, who would have completed the trifecta.) We started the day (meaning, around 11:00 am) waiting in line at Voodoo Doughnuts, a Portland haunt that ALWAYS has a line even though its open 21 hours a day. I got a raspberry-filled powdered sugar (and ended up with a solid snowy layer of sugar ALL over my clothes) and a ODB (which I won't spell out b/c my grandfather reads my blog :), a chocolate cake doughnut topped with Oreos and peanut butter. (Photo Credit: Life Is a Roadtrip)

Then we drove out to Ecola State Park/Cannon Beach. We picnicked at the top of a cliff overlooking the sea, with the clearest sky you could possibly imagine. Then we braved a 1 mile hike for "experienced" hikers. (Abby said if by "experienced" they meant "possessing an inflated sense of ability" then that fit us just fine. :) It was beyond gorgeous; a steep uphill climb through the magical forest, then a relatively flat path over redwood roots and tiny waterfalls, then switchbacks down to a secluded beach. Crescent Beach is only accessible by this path. We stuck our toes in the water but it was freezing, so we just sat in the sand admiring it all.

Photo Credit: IronRodArt's Flicker Stream

We both turn 30 this year and won't see each other before then, so we went out for a special dinner Monday night. We found Vino Paradiso, a wine bar with a great dinner menu. We chose their tasting menu (3 courses for $25) and added the wine pairing (2 glasses of wine and a cocktail). Not my normal budget but we only turn 30 once! You know a meal is going to be good when you are freaking out about the olive oil the bread is dipped in. I had some sort of garlic/shrimp pastry topped with fancy lettuce to start, then handmade pasta with local mushrooms and a sauce that I'm sure I could never duplicate. I may never recover from the chocolate mousse, which came in second only to what I had in Belgium.

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Portland - Monday

After a lazy morning, we went to Hawthorne Street for lunch. Portland is kind of like a giant Montrose, and Hawthorne reminds me a bit of downtown Heights. We found Bread and Ink Cafe and partook of the Farmer's Market sandwich and the Bacon Provolone Basil Sandwich, with side salad and fries complete with homemade catsup. Eric and I often order two different things so we can try more in a restaurant. Abby and I have a similar groove - we eat half then switch plates.

Photo credit: Portland Guide

Abby had to go to work for the afternoon so that left me to wander about. I bought some perfume oils at Escential Lotion and Oils. These are vegetable based, no alcohol, mixed with essential oils. I have a chemical sensitivity so I have to be careful about these things, but regular perfume just smells like chemical to me and I don't like it. Eric also hates the smell of perfume. But we can both agree on EO. I chose a white patchouli blend - different from regular patchouli because it's much lighter and more sweet. 
Then I just wandered. I sat at a coffee shop and read a book - for fun. I can't remember the last time that's happened. It was glorious to go to a coffee shop and not work. I caught a bus downtown in hopes of going to the art museum and/or history museum, but they were both closed b/c it was Monday. But I enjoyed sitting on a bench in the Park Blocks of downtown. 

I also sat in Pioneer Courthouse Square, "Portland's Living Room", a city park that's great for people watching. The strap on my shirt broke so I went into Macy's where a nice lady helped me pin it back on. I thought I was taking the Portland Street Car but ended up on the MAX (light rail), crossing the river waaay out of my way. It was alright b/c I enjoyed looking out the window and talking to people. 


I finally made my way to Powell's Books, the largest independent book store in the U.S. It covers an entire block and it's several stories. For bookophiles like myself it's more than amazing.  

I met up with Abby and we were starving. We fell into one of those "we're too hungry to think about where to go but we want to go somewhere good" traps. That led us to a raw vegan cafe inside a yoga studio where they served zucchini noodles. Can we just call it shredded zucchini? They are not noodles! Thankfully we found a cafe across the street that saved us - Sweet Masterpiece Chocolate and Coffee Bar. I feasted on quiche and Washington wine. It was a Riesling from a nearby vineyard I can't remember, but it was delicious.

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Portland - Sunday

One advantage of knowing people all over the place is getting to visit so many amazing places and not having to pay for lodging. It's grand.

Portland is the first stop on my summer travel journey, I'm visiting a friend I've known for 20 years while Eric visits a good friend in Vancouver. I arrived Sunday afternoon. After a very stressful week of moving, visa drama, and shipping frenzies, I woke up at 4 am to catch a flight up here. Several naps on the plane and some caffeine later and I was functional enough.


Sunday we went to Deshutes Brewery in the Pearl District for dinner and a flight of beer. They have an amazing warm pretzel with a cheese/mustard sauce that was TDF. Our main course was the Sweet and Spicy Mac and Cheese. I'm a sucker for gastropub! The flight was 6 small glasses of different beer so I got to try several different kinds. I seldom drink beer, but I really enjoy a good quality, brewed-with-love pint (or half pint) now and then. I'm really grossed out by Miller Lite, etc. that gets processed and pasteurized until it's not even worth it. But Deshutes beer is awesome.

Then we visited Washington Park to see the rose garden and the arboretum. The views cannot be beat - you can see all of the city and Mt. Hood. And I came at a good time to see the roses in full bloom, what seemed like acres of them. I should also mention that the weather has been perfect. It doesn't hurt.









Photo Credit: blisstree.com

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